You know the one:
Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up? Are you up? I'm not up.
A transcript is at Baseball Almanac. Video is below.
The only part that makes no sense to me is this:
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game, in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.
Apparently he's never been to a Red Sox/yankees game...
But apart from that, it's one of my all-time favorite bits.